Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Can you believe this? Well why am I not surprised. You see here the spoolie I made for a swap with Donna a.k.a. Tea Loving Lady. Oh she was "going" to swap, until the very day the swap was to go out she emailed me to bail. I had sent her a few emails updating her, and again when I mailed it. She did not respond.

Now let me start with she knew at the time we decided to exchange that her father was ill, yes things happen,we had over a month to make our project, so she had plenty of opportunity (this started the end of Jan and went out March 21, 2013) to say "hey its too much, can't do this right now, etc". No, she insisted this would not be an issue. I was perfectly clear about how strongly I felt about keeping my word, fulfilling my promises. I never led her to believe I was one of those who would be "okay" with mediocre work, flaking, or poor communication. I shared with her my disappointment with other swaps (having been flaked on a couple times). I wanted her to know what she could, and what I would expect.

Sooooo like I say she emailed me on the DUE date with her reason. Could she mail it back to me? Could she have more time (although she did add she didn't know when or "if" she would get it to me). This left me in an awkward place, after all I had already done all the work and mailed it out. At first I was just a bit shocked.

Yes I was understandably sympathetic, but after I read it again, all I could think of was "really? now you want to bail now?" So yeah, I told her to send it back, so what if it cost me $15.00 to mail it, spent hours doing my best to fulfill my end of the swap. Yes I was a bit miffed. Frankly I do understand, things happen, but really does this give people and excuse to "blow" off an agreement so flippantly? I let her know I was not happy about it. I was not rude, I did not swear, I let her know I was not happy that she waited, and then left it "up to me" with no real solution other than, too bad, so sad. I didn't get it she knew what was going on, she knew the date was right around the corner. Yet now tell me  that it has been getting bad for the last couple weeks? Now you decide to email me? Perhaps I am supposed to pleased that I wasn't left hanging for days thinking it was on it's way. (keep in mind I had emailed her earlier in the week to say I was sending mine out. I mailed it early, like 5 days ago)

Sure there will be those who will say its only a swap, well to them I say, no its more than just a swap, it is also about your word, your integrity. Maybe for those who have the funds to "give-away" things, it isn't a big deal. Perhaps you place no value on your time or work, I do. For me it is a breach of faith and trust. I do not lack sympathy for those struggling with illness, or adversity, but when is it acceptable to "void" an agreement or promise without taking the other party into consideration.   This was the part that really got my dander up, so to speak. She was angry with me, called me rude and inconsiderate. Yeah, apparently I had not right to get upset with her. It was all about her. No she didn't feel bad after all her father was dying (yes he went from ill to dying in one email), and wasn't I a terrible person for expecting her to consider my feelings. Is this a sign of our times? Yeah it's okay, "they" should understand after all it's about "me". Well let me be the first to say no, if (I feel can say if because I have never done this to anyone, regardless of what is going on in my life) you are the "offending" party you do not maintain the right to be offended when the person you are "screwing" over calls you out on it.

Shame, Shame, Shame on her for not only bailing but emailing me, in response and trying to make me feel guilty for "not understanding her situation". Yeah, made a half-hearted apology and "kept" the items, and that should be good enough. Now she is out there signing up for swaps again. I have not heard from her once, nor did she return of fulfill her part of the swap.

This post for is for those who wish to swap with her, be warned!

1 comment:

Terri said...

Hey..did some thing new happen..since the March post about is swap?
So sorry this happened to you. Thanks for the heads up about this swapper.