Nice Person? Or Catholic Upbringing?

Okay, Okay let me have it. I complain about something or someone that has upset me, piss and moan about how I am never going to do that again, then something happens. A person loses their job, a loved one, someone's marriage has failed, broken up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, or loses a pet and I am there saying "What can I do to make it better?" It may be someone I don't really know, a person I met on a blog, or someone somebody told me about, or that person that pissed me off a few days ago, doesn't matter same response. Some think I am tough, and sometimes I am blunt, and a bit hard, but apparently I have this soft side? Perhaps it is because I am a Mom or just hormonal? Perhaps it is because I was raised in the Catholic faith, and for those that also were, they know it's all about the  "guilt".  Not so much anymore, but in my generation you were going to hell for eating meat on Friday, so what does that tell you? I swear something in me feels responsible on some level for "everything", the war, the economy ( I am trying to do my part of shoring it up buying stamps and art supplies, but a gal can only do so much), the environment, world peace, you just name it and somewhere in there is something I may have done or not done to cause or contribute to it. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it's all my fault, just that on some deeper inadvertent, oblivious to me level, I probably somewhere, at sometime, did something which led to the decline of western  civilization as we know it. 

So I went to the online class I am taking and read that Suzi Blu's cat Pooh died. She had been nursing that cat for the last couple of years because he was in kidney failure. She loved him, and since I had gone through this very thing with our Roxy (our 15 year old Yorkie) it really touched me. As I sat there thinking about Suzi, and Roxy, a little nagging voice (I think I was channeling Sister Barbara Marie)in my head says "What can you do to help her feel better?" My logical brain says "Nothing, it happens the cat was old, they get sick and die, it's sad, but not your fault" Then the other voice counters with: "Yeah but she is obviously upset and will miss him, and she will get depressed, stop painting, maybe not eat and get sick, go into a coma and die! All because YOU didn't/wouldn't/couldn't do something! 

Okay, okay, what can I do, what... can... I.. do...... ? I know, I will make a bracelet with little soldered charms of her cat, yeah that will cheer her up and she will think "Wow I am still sad, but now I have this lovely little reminder of my beloved pet, I feel so much better". 

So I get busy, copy photos she took make them small, tape glass, make beaded pieces for it, put it together, seal it with a note (not before taking this photo first) and mail it out. Satisfied that I have reached out to someone in pain, hurting, and thinking I have helped make it easier. Yeah I feel good, I did something!

This afternoon as I get my mail that darn little voice decides to start talking to me again: "Think your pretty nice for sending that package do you? Yeah, but what if.... you made it worse? What if she sees it and gets depressed because you sent her a constant reminder of her loss, you idiot... what the heck were you thinking? Well it is too late to go back and stop it because the post office is closed.  If you would have stopped and thought first,  Suzi would still be alive!!!!" .....  Yeah, and  by the way, would it have killed you to send her one of those name/picture tags you make for her dog too........ 

Stop it, just stop it! Let it go, its done, forget it. Get out! Get out of my head!  I sent it already it's over, darn you it's over!!!!!

Psst.... Well fine now I feel bad and it's all YOUR fault!

AAAAAaahhhhhh!

Confession of the Day......I Like the Telenovela

Okay, I am revealing a little known fact about myself.  I like Telenovelas, not all just a few. Yes, I am guilty of watching some of these, especially if this guy above, or Jorge Salinas is in it. They are campy, funny, interesting and in "Spanish". While I do not speak the language, nor do they have subtitles, I can get the gist of the show and usually sit with my spanish-english dictionary and the pause button if something doesn't quite click.  This particular telenovela above I managed to tape all the episodes but one. That's because they like us interrupt these things for the "President", etc (and it wasn't "their" President either). 

I even own a couple of these I bought online. I wouldn't waste my money on them anymore simply because they hack the heck out of the show when they move it to DVD. I have "Mariana de la Noche" after I watched it on TV.  I bought the DVD and half the story-line was missing.  What I do like about the Mexican Telenovelas is that they end. Yes, they have an ending. The story last so long and then it's over. Usually it ends with the bad guys getting theirs, the good guys winning, etc. 

Most of these Telenovelas would not be complete without the appearance of a  "Priest", and "Our Lady of Guatalupe". There is usually someone crying (I like that even the big burly tough guys break down every once in a while, and some people cry way too much) in each episode. At times you can tell they are working with a much smaller budget than American Soaps (don't believe me? Check out one of their hospital scenes).  

Like some of our "Stories", their characters overlook the obvious,  and some scenes are a  bit longer than needed at times. Don't be too surprised to see many of  the same actors again in the next story, playing different parts.  Like this guy above, my beloved Cesar Evora. He has played a Priest, a Crazy Rancher,  A Rich Business man, a Homeless Crazy Vagabond, and in this one Twin Brothers.  Even Joel McHale from The Soup had a field day mocking scenes from "La Madastra" and "Mundo de Fieras".

I also watch movies from China, as well as the odd Italian or French Movie. I just love the IFC channel. oh, and let us not forget the movies from India too. You have to love movies where people break out in song  and dance throughout the movie,for almost any reason, even in the tragedies! One of my favorite actors there is Shah Ruhk Kahn. Yep, I'm big fan of Bollywood.

For those of you wanting to watch  a Telenovela, and thinking I don't have time to guess at what is going on, you can go to a site called "Caray Caray" where other people  watch the shows and offer their translation. Now I am not saying you get an "accurate" detailed word for word translation. Often they are brief translations of what went on, with a lot of personal viewpoints, which are often laced with humor and sarcasm. However, "Telenovela World" does sometimes offer English and Spanish detailed coverage on their site. You have to look up your show on the home page, and then click to open. 

I have managed to learn a few words from these shows like "Nunca" (It means never, or when these guys say it "never, never, but I will in about 5 minutes") and "escuche" which means listen. I used to know more, but of course it has been a while since I watched. Darn it Cesar, when are you going to have a new show on Univision!!!! 

FoR SaRaH

I decided to share with you a painting mix media piece I did for my niece Sarah. She looks much like this little gal and has a little dog named Baby. This was a class I took with Suzi-blu and I had a lot of fun making these paintings. You can check out the rest of my work on Creative Souls.  The link is to the right.

How Cool Is This?

Okay so today while visiting some of my "favorite" blogs I saw something. It made my eyes well up, I caught my breath. Yes, there it was, I saw that someone had added my blog to their blog list.... sigh! Yeah, I know I have been on my friends, Terri and Nancy's "list" for a while now, but this is someone who's blog I follow and has never met me. I feel so....special. Thank you, and I only hope you do not realize you made a mistake and delete it before my friends get to see me there ( yeah all "two" of them). So Terri and Nancy, run don't walk, to CDW (Country Doctors Wife), located in my blog list, and check it out!!!!

(I am off to do the giddy happy dance, and enjoy my 15 minutes)

Look at What I Did!!!!

Look what I did!!! I found this great place to download free backgrounds and  banners and they even told me how. It's called "http://www.thecutestblogontheblock.com/"  They had the neatest assortment of backgrounds and banners to play with and even offer personal web design services for a small fee.

I love that I can change it up and have it reflect my taste a little more. I wish I had the talent a lot of you have and maybe someday I will learn how to make my own, or even have them design a page for me who knows. For now I am happy to look at my blog, so pretty, so soft, just so me!

What can I say....

I was having a day. I had joined in a conversation online where I voiced an opinion about a certain subject. ( a "man" wanted to join the group, and I did not see any reason not to let him) Instead of just seeing my comment as a different perspective, a difference of opinion, I was met with anger, derision, and told to "take med's, yeah maybe a little Zoloft"(I strongly felt at this point this person should be taking her own advise regarding medication). I was led to believe by this person the group was supposed to be a place to converse, exchange thoughts openly, freely. I have been to it before and in the past had refrained from commenting. People have a tendency to read emotion into statements made that are often not there. (As for the comments made to me well they were live and not typed out, but said on camera, so I dare say I was not reading anything into what had been said to me that was not there to be seen and heard by everyone watching) I had thought that this particular group was of open minded women, yet that was not the impression I was left with at all. I left feeling that while people may have thought they were "open" and "friendly", it was quite the opposite, leaving me with the feeling like that of a group of kids that watches as a bully taunts and ridicules the new kid. I am not a follower by nature. I am distrustful of places or people who can only accept one point of view without even considering any other. In cases where any deviation from one persons point of view is met with accusation and ridicule. I wonder then, why bother to chat at all? If you are not open to questions and the possibility of another point of view, why even bother to ask or share? I sat back to think to myself what I had said that triggered such a accusatory and violent reaction. I could only think it was that I had not agreed with this person. More striking for me was the fact that apparently no one else disagreed or even questioned this person's verbal abuse. When this person referred to the group as a "cult" it hit me. Cults do not question, they are mindless drones following someone like they were some sort of spiritual leader. Is this the kind of members what this person wanted? Well there you have it, I would never fit in. So was I wrong? I don't think so. Was my mistake then thinking that the subject was even open to any real discussion? Perhaps. I do know that I was in the wrong place. From my perspective this was no open forum for discussion, but one person, and a group of avid followers who would not dream of questioning anything this person said, even if, on any level they felt the same. So I have decided that this place was is not for me. I want open discussion, the feeling of validation even if we disagree, and I hope I never make anyone afraid to say how they feel. I want a place where one can say "I do not like vulgar language, I do not see the use of genitalia in my work or chat as empowerment, and I don't think we should discrimintate". As a woman, I do not want to feel I have to act like the very thing I hate about men, to feel empowered. I have heard women say "Oh men discriminate, their vulgar, inconsiderate, etc.", yet then why is it when some women form groups we feel as though we have to emulate the very things we find most offensive? Why can't we just treat each other how we want to be treated? Why do we discriminate, or deny access when we hate that it is done to us? Why can't we be better than that? I cannot promise I will agree with everyone, and I will defend my position if I feel I am right, but hopefully I will be more considerate, and try to understand another point of view or at least that it how that person feels. This is just my thoughts, my reasons. You do not have to agree, you do not have to comment, this is for me. I put it here hoping to remind myself , to reflect, maybe change my mind, see my error, or just vent. Either way lesson learned.

Latest Journal Pages!!!!!

My page(s) in my journal done for me by Terri. My name means "bee" in Hebrew and my last name is spelled close to "abielle" (which I think is bee in french). Combine that with my constant reference to being a "Queen" and you have  delightful and enchanting pages. In my "favorite" color robins egg blue and lots of "bling" Terri took it over the top!!! The Puppy "fairy" in this page is my girl "Nuala". She is one of my three Yorkies (I love the breed). She had to improvise my other two "Bailey and Cookie", but she got their personality captured using other puppy images. I hope to show to show all my pages, so many talented ladies have graced it with their own brand of "artistic flair". It is gorgeous to say the least!!!!

And this page is well, all about ME of course, the "Queen Bee"

Here she made Bailey Bee (the sulking bee near the leaf).... While Cookie Bee looks for a toy!