Repost : Tuesday Vent, Flakers!

I feel the need to repeat, in light of a recent swap.....

I borrowed the above picture when surfing flickr yesterday. I was trying to get my mind to a "good" place. She looks like she is going a little crazy, lost, and trying to figure out what to do next like me. You see I was a little bit miffed over a matter that seems to happen at one point or another to those of us trusting enough to join swaps. For the most part my participation has been positive. Sure I have had the occasional "straggler" here and there. The person for whom deadlines are just a sort of general"guideline" that does not necessarily apply to them. You have to nudge, beg, threaten them to get things on their way. They act surprised when you comment or ask them whats taking so long. One of the swaps I was recently in, a tag swap, Marie Antoinette to be specific, is still waiting on people. I wonder if some of these participants who make everyone wait on them suffer from what my mother used to say "Their eyes being bigger than their stomach". They sign up for numerous swaps, envisioning that they will pump out one after another, and be able to fulfill all these commitments. Some may be able to do it, some will start off with a lot of steam then peter out leaving some waiting for months, or never completing them. I know I have mentioned names on previous posts, and yes, there are still people waiting for tags, a good two month past the close of the swap! Shameful really. This is bad enough, these stragglers as I call them (and no you do not get to blame the post office, your life, the dog, the truth is you are just being rude and inconsiderate). When you "promise" and that is what this is, a "promise" that you agreed to, because the truth is no one made you sign up, you should act like a responsible adult and follow thru. So many abuse the kindness, and patience of others. It is silly really these "swappers" are supposed to be adults. If their children, Employer or a Politician acted like this they would be irritated and upset. So why is it they feel they can do this to other people? The Hostess is not your "Mother" they should not have to spend countless emails and time trying to coax you to do what you promised. I am appalled when I find out that people are still waiting on these people, these stragglers, shame, shame, shame. I hate having to "nag, cajole, and beg" someone to get my swap, but often there is little recourse. If I don't they will just stall or worse, "FLAKE". What can I say about Flaker's that does not make me want to wretch? Seriously, it is like stealing but asking and saying "please" first. Yes I said STEALING, because taking something with no thought, or real intention of paying for it, (and doing your part is the payment), is STEALING! If I say I will give you a candy bar for a dollar, and you take the candy, eat it and never give me the dollar, you have stolen the candy plain and simple. If you say I will make you oh say, a fan, in exchange for one you make, and I do not make one for you as promised and take the one you made me it is the same thing. What if you say you did the work and it was lost in the mail? Does that excuse you ? Hmmm did saying the dog ate your homework work in school? No, it didn't? Then it doesn't work here either. More offensive is when a Swap Partner decides not to communicate. Sure things happen, stuff gets lost in the mail, delivered to the wrong place, etc. but how is your partner to know when there is no communication? Of course you can always contact the Hostess of the swap, putting them in the middle, but really is this their responsibility? Personally I would be embarrassed if someone had to involve the hostess because I was not adult enough to address the matter, and work out a solution myself. Yet so many times I hear of people who do this. Take the item then bail. Leaving you empty handed and the Hostess with a bad taste for ever hosting a swap again. This has happened to me very recently, and frankly I felt like I wanted to start or find a website where these people can be exposed and stopped. As luck would have it I think I have. So ladies if you, like myself have been afraid to sign up for a swap because you have been burned you may wish to join this group:

http://swap-bot.com/

I also would suggest this site if you are thinking of hosting a swap since they only allow members to participate. They keep a close eye out for flakers. The rules are pretty generous with one exception "NO FLAKING" if you ever do, (I think it also applies to communication and timely mailing), you are banned! If I had any advice for future swappers it would be to trust your gut feelings. I had confided to a friend early in the swap that I had reservations about my partner, with regards to this swap in question, and told her about the total lack of communication, and seeming carelessness of the person I was paired with. I even thought of holding onto my work until I received hers, but I wanted to fulfill my part of the swap and not be late in mailing it out. Now I wish I had trusted my gut. The lady has my work and I have nothing. She has not returned one email. The hostess even contacted her and requested a solution, still nothing. Now it could be that this person will try to make this right, perhaps she will even make good, but the total lack of communication indicates otherwise. So I chalk this one up to a learning experience. Although I have to tell you if I see her name anywhere on a swap list that I would consider I will have no qualms in letting the hostess know. Alright I just had to let that out. Please respect that these are my opinions, mine alone. Although I know that others have had these problems too hence the Swap-Bot and Yahoo groups (there is a Yahoo group too!).

A Moment to Vent

I have a love/hate relationship with swaps. I have been doing quite a few Lately. Signing up for them via someones blog, or an online invite. I used to participate at local shops, but that ended when people stopped following thru and the work became shoddy.

It can be a great deal of fun. You work on projects send them out and in exchange you receive other artwork from artists. They contribute to your collection, and you to theirs. Sometimes you wind up with a nice book, others like tags can be used, or saved for inspiration. There are other swaps maybe a doll, or home decoration. It can be fun, and lately I have been joining in and swapping like a crazy woman on crack. I signed up for a few swaps, not expecting to have to deal with a funeral, wedding, and school starting at the same time.

I try to give myself enough time, starting early so that should these type of events come along I won't become frazzled trying to do it all. So far it has worked, I know myself, if I do not start right away things seem to happen, it can lead to anxiety I just don't need.

After all, I consider myself to a person who follows thru. If I say I am going to do something I do it. If you give me a deadline, and rules I follow them. I take it very seriously, because for one thing I want people to be able to count on me. I want my word to mean something. The last thing some hostess needs is to have constantly have to check on you, remind you and then push you to do that which you said you would commit to do.

I have never hosted a swap yet partly because it is a lot of work, but mostly, for myself at least, I think I have not done it because it must be so frustrating at times.

There have been so many great swaps lately, and of course I want to participate in them all. Reality is though, I cannot, I have to pace myself. For me it is not about quantity, but quality. When I do a swap I want it to be something that I would want to receive and for that I need time. I read the rules, and most importantly pay attention to the "deadline". Subject matter, the cost, rules, all factor in. After all, these things can become expensive. Especially those where you have to mail overseas, or to each person individually. In other cases it is the time factor, some swaps are more labor intensive. For instance the doll swap I participated in. Thank goodness Nancye gave us lots of time, and we only had one partner.

Even then there were some tense moments. In my haste to get started my partner and I both forgot to exchange e-mails. I foolishly thought like me she had it on her page, or at least a site that I could contact her through. Well as it happens she did not, and I had no way of getting in touch with her. New lesson learned, get an e-mail address and contact info up front. make it a point to agree on keeping in touch. It can be extremely frustrating when you don't.

Which brings me to my biggest pet peeve about swaps, okay one of two big peeves, the first - deadlines! I for the very life of me I do not understand why it is that people cannot commit and follow thru on this. After all it isn't like they do not inform you right up front. Many hostesses even send you reminders, and warn you that the mailing time is close, yet time and time again there are those who feel like this idea of a deadline does not apply to them.

Yes, I know "life" happens. Of course, and many of the swaps allow for that by having several weeks to complete and mail out a project. So what are these few doing wrong? I cannot believe life is that out of control 24/7. If it is then maybe they should rethink the swap idea and take care of business at home. For some it may be "procrastination", they sign up for too many swaps only to realize a week before that they did not allow enough time. Maybe they waited thinking "hey, I have another week", only it turns out that is the week your Aunt surprises you and shows up for a three day visit. Then suddenly they panic and run late. Then there are the perpetual stragglers, as I call them. It gets to where you see their name on the list and just know you will be waiting "for-ever" as their names have become synonymous with a three, to the whenever they get around to it, week wait.

I just do not get it. I recently inquired about a swap I am in. I asked when I could expect my pieces to be sent. Sure I am anxious and excited, and I know I have to allow at least a week or ten days. We all had the same deadline right? So how long should it take? The response was "Well usually I allow three weeks after the due date for some to get their work in" (then tack on another week while I finish putting the together). Are you serious? I thought the deadline for mailing was XYZ. No wonder there are some who feel they can make everyone wait. No wonder they putz and give themselves lots of leeway. I then have to ask, "Why in Gods name do you have a deadline?" Is it me, or am I correct that when you tell someone it has to be mailed by XYZ date that it is SUPPOSED to be in the mail no LATER than XYZ? Did I miss the fine print that said "for those of you who feel the need to make everyone wait because you got busy, signed up for too many swaps, got overwhelmed, or just plain waited too long to start, take another three weeks?" No wonder this country is in such bad shape no one thinks the rules apply to them, and for those out of the county, well surely they know they have to allow for extra mailing time.

This first peeve may be some of the cause for my next peeve. "Quality", yes I will say the thing that many think, but no one dare say. Nothing can be as exciting as receiving beautiful pieces of artwork. I now say here that I have had the privilege of being the recipient of some fantastic work. To these artists I say "Thank you". You are the reason I am still doing these swaps. For the others, you know who you are, that spend five minute throwing something together and thinking "well I made my deadline", I want you to stop now and think. Have you ever sent out work that you knew could have been so much better if you just took a few more minutes to work on your project? Have you ever sent something out that you thought, I should have fixed that bubbled paper, took my time when I put this together, fixed the smeared glitter, backed that flimsy tag with some chipboard, added more, maybe added less? Would I be thrilled to get this in the mail?

Every time I do a swap I admit I obsess over it. I will often lay everything out, change it up, add, subtract. I have been known to take apart and start over, to ask for help and opinions of fellow artists. I put myself in the receiver's place, would I be excited when I opened this? Would I be disappointed? Is everything dry? Will anything stick or smear? Are all the parts adhered? Did I pad it so it doesn't crush or tear? It is because what I send out reflects me, it is my ambassador so to speak. I want it to say, here is someone who takes pride in doing good work. You can see the attention to detail, the way it was put together reflects the time and thought put into each part. A prime example of this can be found on an earlier post. I had waited four weeks after the deadline for a Marie Tag from Deb McNutt. Being me, I was a bit peeved at the fact that it was so late. Once I opened the package and saw this incredible piece of work, well let us just say if you were to ask me now, I would say it was well worth the extra time (although I still think meeting the deadlines is important and do not want to encourage tardiness). It is masterfully done, the details and level of work wonderful.

This however is not always the case. I have received my share of less that desirable pieces, and yes I know as I have been reminded on other occasions, we are dealing with all levels of skill here. Still being honest, it is not hard to look at a piece and see where thought was used, time was taken, and when it was not. I was a beginner at one point also. I have spent time examining others work, gleaning knowledge and taking what I learn (not copying, but using work as an inspiration or prompt to try a new technique) and trying to surpass my last piece. I have had occasions where I thought my piece was just wonderful, only to receive something from someone who has surpassed my work by light years, making me want to try harder the next time.

It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but this is not what I am addressing here. For me it is the poorly executed work, where parts are falling off, paper is torn, creased, glue spots, glitter smeared, and the colors are all over the map. The parts are uneven, things do not line up, backs are exposed showing all the gluey, and taped parts. Images printed on cheap copy paper, poorly colored in with pencils, warped paper from using the wrong glue, the list goes on. Example: I once did a fat book exchange, the theme Christmas. I received from a woman a page with a die cut snowflake, a big one with a rhinestone in the center, ta-da! on the back of the page, which was supposed to be covered also, she glued sloppily ( she had not managed to square off the paper and there was glue all over the place), the piece of paper that she punched the snowflake out of, ta-da. This must have taken all of two minutes, and little or no thought. It wasn't even on cardstock but cheap construction paper. How she managed to accept beautifully executed pages in exchange for her work without feeling like a cheat is still a mystery to me. The next page we received from her, well lets just say those pages were missing from my completed book, at least the one I could not tear apart and do over.

Of course I mentioned these are my pet peeves, they are mine, but I do not think I am alone. Many will say nothing, many may just stop exchanging or choose to swap one on one. It is hard to say something because often we are sensitive to others feelings, so much so we do them a disservice. For how are they to know unless someone tells them? I am open to constructive criticism that helps me. If someone was to receive a piece from me that was less that acceptable, I would want to know. If they had a better way, or knew of a better paper, glue, or paint that would help I would appreciate the information. I am not perfect. I do think that it shows in my work that I have put time and effort into my pieces. That as I grow I will get better and not settle for so-so work from myself. I want people who see my name on a list for a swap to say "Oh, that lady is doing this I would love to have a piece from her. You can count on something well done and on time".

Well that's it for now. I have rambled on here, but felt the need to share with you, and just vent a bit as I wait on a couple swaps who are waiting for the stragglers to get their act together. In the meantime I have four to get out this week. I have been up late all weekend and the last few days trying to make up for the time I lost dealing with "life". Don't worry they will be out on time, a couple even early. The work is good, I am pleased with it. P.S. I am not even going to mention the "Flaker's" out there (the ones who sign up then disappear), don't even get me started on them!