Just Breathe

Ever feel like just walking away? Maybe just going to your room shutting the door and lock out the world, like forever. Lately that's how it has been for me. I am tired, dead to the bone, tired. Not the physical kind, that might be good, but the kind of tired that comes from trying not to let it all get to you. You stop looking forward to the day instead you think, if only I did not have to work, or clean, or cook, worry about my job, his job, her tuition. 

It gets like this at times. Not really depression, just a bone dead tired and a need to withdraw a bit. I am so tired of all the talk on the TV and radio. Stupid News feels the need to crush the last bit of hope from every aspect of people lives, every hour on the hour. I dare you to find a station anywhere that does not dwell on the negativity. Even if you lucky enough to get a "rumor" that someone saw a light at the end of the tunnel, they feel the immediate need to rush in and turn it off.

It is hard, hard to go to a family event without hearing about some poor person who has lost their job, home, or insurance. I am regularly flabbergasted at the response this is all having, instead of compassion and trying to help, companies are raising prices and finding ways to add charges to further bleed the dying. My friend in Tennessee told me that her sister had surgery. When she started getting billed she arranged to make payments. She received a statement saying that if the bill was not paid in full, within 90 days, she would have to pay 18% interest! Of course they never told her this before the surgery, but my god, that's higher than a lot of credit cards. She is off work recuperating with this hanging over her head. They aren't even taking her good credit into consideration.

Prices on barrels of gas have dropped due to less demand, yet the prices just went up .40 this weekend? The post office, cut back workers, is going to do away with Saturday deliveries and then raised it's price .02 per stamp!  All the cuts the Automotive workers have made and the price of a car is still high? You cut a workers pay in half, get deals from suppliers, shareholders, and still expect top dollar? How does this all work, the less you have the more they want?

I still have not heard what "sacrifices" all the top executives have made? We all know the banks are still getting their bonuses, Citibank is getting TARP funds and raising your interest rate? What the heck.

Instead of coming together people are tearing each other apart. They are so busy worrying that their neighbor may have something, and some even seem to relish in another person's  misfortune. Good Lord people, knock it off! 

I recently told my friend Vicky, that I felt that everyone was being pushed to the edge of a cliff, all shoved together trying not to fall, and all they needed was one more shove to send them off into the chasm. That while I cannot excuse the shootings, suicides, and crazy  behavior I can see how some might feel so desperate.  It isn't just me feeling it either, so many people I know have just locked in or backed off.  No one wants to talk, I can't blame them there hasn't been a whole lot of things to say that won't remind you of all the crap going on.

I will be okay but I need to step away, I need to cut back and do a little less for a bit.  Take a breath, and just hope for the best.