Happy Anniversary Steve............here's to the next thirty....one!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Today is our 31st Anniversary. Below is a picture of Steven, my husband. We were married June 24, 1978. It was a hot summer day. The flowers were late, the wrong dresses had been delivered to my sisters Patty and Kim. My other sister Cheryl (the maid of honor, who found out that week that she was pregnant, and had not eaten that morning) passed out during the ceremony and "rolled" down the alter stairs. Steve's father came out of "nowhere" to help,( I mean one minute he was in the pew, next he was scooping Cheryl up off the floor). Meanwhile I couldn't stop laughing they "paused" the service, so I could collect myself. My youngest brother, Anthony, was our ring bearer, and was complaining "loudly" throughout the ceremony that he was too hot. During the Reception, Steve's Aunt had a reaction to her medication, and we had to have EMS come to the hall and help her off the dance floor. Some of my relatives did not get along, so it made for a fun night of intercepting them and keeping things nice and calm at times. When we went to leave, my wonderful family had taped all the windows, and booby-trapped the car (they found one of those under construction pillars with the light flashing red and put it in the back seat, taped the windows and blown up several funny shaped balloons, and other adult paraphernalia). As my children would say, "good times.... good times", in that sarcastic tone that tells you it was anything but. I saw the whole wedding ordeal as a gauntlet I had to run. If we could make it through all the drama, with everyone alive, we had a fighting chance at making it work. I remember as we left for our honeymoon the next morning we had to stop and get gas in the car. Now of course this was still when most stations pumped the gas for you. The gentleman knocked on the window smiling and said "Congratulations". I thought, that was nice. It never occurred to me how he knew. Later when we reached Ohio and stopped again, Steve went to pump the gas this time and came to the window laughing so hard I he could barely breathe. It seems they (my wonderful brothers and sisters) had placed a sign inside on the gas cap that read "Congratulate us we just got laid". (Don't worry they got married after, heh heh... but I never went to the corner station for gasoline again) It would be nice to say the honeymoon was better, and most of it was, except the part where Steve decided he had to get the car washed (on a Sunday no less) and they locked the keys in the car (my spare set was conveniently locked in the trunk) so we spent the day waiting for the locksmith to show up, or the part where I got sunburned so bad we had to come home early. Still, we did okay. It's been a real roller-coaster ride, up and down these last years. We have gone to bed "angry", we have argued, been stubborn (him, not me), fought over money, kids, relatives, still during it all we never stopped loving each other. It isn't perfect, it never is, I don't think I ever was foolish enough to think it would be. I say this in the hopes that those who are just starting out know you can fight, argue, disagree, even go to bed angry, and still love the other person. We never saw our marriage as disposable, we entered into it for the long haul. We had to adjust, and give a little, sometimes a lot. We developed a kind of Intermittent "Alzheimer's" if you will. Even now I cannot remember things we fought about specifically (okay maybe one or two things.... that he did), but we just learned to let it go and look ahead. Perhaps part of the reason it all worked is that we never crossed certain lines, and apologized when we "knew" we were be wrong (again, not me him), and learned to be patient when we (he) did not to admit it. He said to me today, (lying through his teeth, but very sweetly) that he has loved the last 30 years, and looks forward to the next 30. I sweetly reminded him it has been 31, then I quoted Roseanne "Hon, just think of our marriage as a life sentence with no hope of parole"