So I went to the online class I am taking and read that Suzi Blu's cat Pooh died. She had been nursing that cat for the last couple of years because he was in kidney failure. She loved him, and since I had gone through this very thing with our Roxy (our 15 year old Yorkie) it really touched me. As I sat there thinking about Suzi, and Roxy, a little nagging voice (I think I was channeling Sister Barbara Marie)in my head says "What can you do to help her feel better?" My logical brain says "Nothing, it happens the cat was old, they get sick and die, it's sad, but not your fault" Then the other voice counters with: "Yeah but she is obviously upset and will miss him, and she will get depressed, stop painting, maybe not eat and get sick, go into a coma and die! All because YOU didn't/wouldn't/couldn't do something!
Okay, okay, what can I do, what... can... I.. do...... ? I know, I will make a bracelet with little soldered charms of her cat, yeah that will cheer her up and she will think "Wow I am still sad, but now I have this lovely little reminder of my beloved pet, I feel so much better".
So I get busy, copy photos she took make them small, tape glass, make beaded pieces for it, put it together, seal it with a note (not before taking this photo first) and mail it out. Satisfied that I have reached out to someone in pain, hurting, and thinking I have helped make it easier. Yeah I feel good, I did something!
This afternoon as I get my mail that darn little voice decides to start talking to me again: "Think your pretty nice for sending that package do you? Yeah, but what if.... you made it worse? What if she sees it and gets depressed because you sent her a constant reminder of her loss, you idiot... what the heck were you thinking? Well it is too late to go back and stop it because the post office is closed. If you would have stopped and thought first, Suzi would still be alive!!!!" ..... Yeah, and by the way, would it have killed you to send her one of those name/picture tags you make for her dog too........
Stop it, just stop it! Let it go, its done, forget it. Get out! Get out of my head! I sent it already it's over, darn you it's over!!!!!
Psst.... Well fine now I feel bad and it's all YOUR fault!