Monday, March 2, 2009

Thoughts on Sharing, Caring, and Consideration

I wanted to share this image above. (It is by Christi in Cal) I chose it because it relates to something that has been playing around in my head. It isn't meant to provoke a response but rather to express how I have been feeling and thinking recently regarding certian matters. You see I am one of those people who puts a great deal of stock into follow through. If I say I am going to do something, like pick something up for someone, mail a letter, or send a package, I do. I also try to respond to someones kindness and generosity immediately. After all, if they are anything like me, they want to know you received their "package" , that it arrived intact and that you liked it. I can think of a few things that will really gnaw at my brain, and waiting for a response is one of them. Do I expect to hear that moment? No, but I would think maybe sometime that day, the next day, that week. For me knowing someone received something I sent, and hearing nothing from them becomes in my mind a negative response. (This is even more acute when I have put delivery confirmation on a package, and know it has been delivered) I tend to get a little bummed when after waiting several days, I still have heard nothing. I start to assume that perhaps they didn't like it, were disappointed, and do not know how to tell me. Maybe it was delivered to the wrong person, it's happened. Do I e-mail them? Do I dare ask "Did you get the package? What do you think? Was it okay?" How long do I wait to ask? I ponder these things, like why when I send an e-mail do I feel like am I begging for something, or pestering them. This is not my intent. In some cases this person has expressed a desire for the item in question, so what is it? For myself it is in part common courtesy, and in part a display by the receiver that they are as happy to receive this package, as you were to send it to them. I enjoy sharing. If someone has mentioned something to me that has touched me, or if I read something on a blog, where a person is having a particularly bad time, I often want to share something good. I love nice surprises, as well as surprising others. I do not know too many people who do not get a small thrill when someone sends an unexpected item to them in the mail. Perhaps you get that piece of art you entered to win in a giveaway, someone sends you an item you commented on, or something you mentioned you collect in a post. I am one of those people that want to share it with everyone. I think it is great to hear that people are still giving and caring, but most of all I want to contact that person and let them know "Yes, I got this and it arrived fine. Thank you" When I visit blogs where people display items they received and publicly thank the person, it makes it even harder. Not that I need to see it displayed like that, but when I do not hear anything, it can make it very disheartening for me. I participated in the recent giveaway. I have had to contact a couple of the people and ask "did you get it?" Eventually they responded, but it wasn't the spontaneous response I had hoped for, I guess because I felt I forced it by having to ask. So is it me? Do I expect too much? I still haven't heard from the another person, and I have made up my mind not to chase them down for a response. Those reading may say I am being foolish, what does it matter? True, when I chose to give something it was not for kudos's and compliments . I never regret the giving. So what does it all mean? Well for me it means I will have to think about why I am participating in some giveaways, but most of all that I have to realize that not everyone shares the same appreciation for these things, or shares my expectations. I will admit these experiences have done one thing, I have a real appreciation for those people who reach out, share, and are considerate. I want to say to those who have been kind to me, visited my blog and left your comments of support, Thank You!


Her Art Nest said...

Too often today, the meaning behind real gift giving is overlooked. I believe that when you give a gift, there is somewhat of a emotional value in that gift. So, when the receiver does not respond, or neglects to show just a little gratitude, it hurts. So, "Take this little thought from me: You are what I'd like to be. All the kindly deeds you do, make me wish that I were you. You're the finest of the fine. Good, old loyal friend of mine." Thank you for all the sharing and caring you have given me. You are a true friend. Hugs, Nance

Terri said...

I like what Nance said....I really don't think I can say it any better.
So I will say Ditto to that!

Renee said...

Okay Deb I have to tell you that you just hit on my BIGGEST pet peeve.

I would swear here but I remember you asked us not to swear on your blog (I am a horrible swearer). xoxo

Nothing drives me more around the bend than ungrateful people. Where are even their manners. Here is a cook, the person says thank you. We teach that to toddlers. Here is the cookie Josephine -- what to you say to Grandma. She says ta ta.

You have written it exceptionally well, because I am identical.

I always say I don't want appreciation, but I do in a way. I want to be treated like a human being. Nothing makes me madder, seriously.

I agree with your posts 100%.

The one thing I never respond to though usually and I stated it on one of my first blogs is that I state what I'm putting on my blog and if someone comments I love it but I do not comment back on my blog or even to their blog. I think it is because if I have an opinion and they disagree well there is no problem but I am not going to argue about it with them. If they agree, well that is that. But I do have my favourite blogs I come to and some people, like you I consider a friend.

So dear friend thank you for the post.

Love Renee

Greywolf-Art said...

I have to agree with you on this, its so discourteous to not respond to someone who has just sent you a gift.

and its not just physical gifts, in the last few months I have sent emails to people saying that I liked their work so much that I'd put links on my site to their site - and got no reply whatsoever! needless to say when I transferred my blog to a new site the links didn't go with me.

To be honest I felt guilty that I had not sent your giveaway immediately when your name was picked but as I explained we were all full of flu here, but when it did get sent you emailed me straight away to let me know it had arrived, and I'm grateful for that.

Lori Anderson Designs said...

I'm surprised at how few people say thank you, let alone send thank you notes. I was brought up to do that -- but none of the teachers in my sons preschool or Kindergarten do it. I know they're busy, but it still kind of tweaks me.

And then I'm afraid that if I don't hear anything, they really DIDN'T get it. It's a Catch-22 sometimes, isn't it?

Vintage Soul said...

I agree with you completely. I think a thank you is the minimum when you swap with someone. Even if they dont like it and they give it to their dog as a chew toy, i still think it is only polite to say thank you.
Came over here from Lisa's Carnival Soiree. SO nice to meet you. You do lovely paintings.